Hey, we're Freya and Becky from Brighton, England- both girls who like girls- and we like to think we know enough between us about relationships and sexuality to answer your questions! Anything we don't know, we will find someone who does, and we will do our best to answer all the questions we get! Don't hesitate to ask :D
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Totally healthy, won’t affect you unless you do it so much it’s sore, and as long as you don’t use anything unsanitary. But apart from that, it’s healthy.
This may sound like a silly question, but I think it is interesting as I don't know anybody else who identifies themselves as genderqueer. When you are having a guy day, do you consider yourself a straight person or do you still think of yourself as being a lesbian? xx
Freya: I haven’t thought about it really. As far as I feel, I will always identify as lesbian, as I will always like girls. When i’m having a guy day, I just think ‘I have a girlfriend’, I don’t think ‘I like girls, ergo I am straight.’ I’m just Freya, in love with Becky.
Nope, staying a bit longer.
Thank you, so much. We’re really glad. I hope that we helped you get through whatever the trouble was, because that is our aim.
Thank you! I think you’re right- we’re not perfect, we have our own individual views on things, so if someone else wants to help someone, they should by all means tell us. We’re not against being helped, what we are against is being told that we are wrong, because there isn’t a wrong point of view- there are just different opinions.
Freya: No. You aren’t an awful person. Crushes happen- they aren’t controllable. But if they aren’t dealt with, then they can tear down a happy relationship by feelings of guilty. I know you wouldn’t ever cheat on her, but this girl/guy has obviously captured your attention. You need to decide whether you are going to act on it or not- if you aren’t, then you need to distance yourself from that person and focus on doing new and exciting things with your girlfriend- often, it’s the fact that you’ve been together so long that the excitement has been lost…Keep working on it, because it will get better. We’ve been through this exact situation, and I fucked up (i didn’t cheat, but i hurt many people), but in the end I took my own advice after a while and sorted it out. It might hurt for a bit, but you need to know you made the right decision, whatever that is.
Your advice is fantastic and I will miss your blog terribly if you do decide to call it a day.
Both: Again, thank you. We probably won’t- we will decide on it tomorrow, and we will let you guys know. I guess it’s a reason to carry on- to show them that we won’t succumb to their malice. The support we’ve had has been wonderful- even if we only help one person, we’ve helped, and that’s reason enough to stay.
Both: We’re not going to shut it down, i don’t think- we just won’t reply to the nasties. Thank you though, and we’re really glad that we helped you. We’re always here- it can just be a rant if you need it. Both of us went through it at one point, and still are, so we get it.
Freya: I’m not stopping it right now. Gonna give it to the end of the week…But thank you. We just wanted to help people, and people just took the piss.
Freya here.
It makes me angry that the minute we say we’re not going to accept just nosy questions about us and our sex life, we get hate mail things saying ‘hahaha you won’t get anything now, they were all fake, etc’. We were here because we wanted to help- don’t you get it? We’ve had friends who have cut themselves, harmed themselves, all because they thought they didn’t have someone to turn to, and we want to BE someone to turn to. And you threw it back in our faces. I feel so hurt about all the mail we’ve had, that I think i’m going to just shut this site down at the end of the week. To the people who actually wanted our help, I hope we did help you, and to the people who have supported us and followed us, thank you. But we’re going to call it a day, I think.
